New Proof Against Evolution
September 18, 2010 •
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by Newt Gingrich
It occurred to me as I walked down the street yesterday:
Suppose we had evolved.
Suppose for a moment that the heathen Darwin was correct. If that were the case, then surely we would have no lips. For lips are vestigial appendages, their only use being to glorify the name of the Lord. And had we no lips, we could not kiss. And could we not kiss, we could not fornicate.
And could we not fornicate, there would be no sin. Alas, there would be no people, either.
But we do have lips, all of us. Wet lips, moist lips, sensuous lips. Lips for praying, lips for kissing, lips for sucking… Therefore, I have concluded beyond a shadow of a doubt that mankind was “plopped” down upon the Earth in one big gaseous tornado.
Comments
By blahblah on November 30th, 2010 at 11:01 pm
You’re stupid. Honestly, you’re stupid.